Friday, February 17, 2017

"Lying in the Dark
Tears falling from your eyes...
So what he called you ugly
But he aint seen you smile."

We've all been in toxic relationships, we shouldnt have to beg someone to care, we shouldnt have to love someone whose every word and action makes you feel worthless - but we do.
This song speaks about meeting someone who is "damaged goods" and the uphill battle that is trying to get them to see their worth and value through your own eyes.
Its called Love For Free (L4F) and was Mixed and Mastered by one of the best Cardiffs own DJ Killer Tomato. I hope you listen and I hope you enjoy it.
Have a great weekend!!x

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Mad Over You - TheChocl8 Mix

Its hard to explain the creative process, when a great deal of it is something divine and unexplainable.

Music is a gift, every form of it takes practise and as my man Hector says in "The Hunt for the Wilderpeople"  something else called The Knack.

The first time I heard Mad Over REALLY heard it, was at my mates in London.


That's when i decided that I would try and understand the song because I liked the style and the pre-chorus bit "That girl for the corner etc etc" kept ringing in my ears - it was just different.

Then i discovered a dude called S 'Bling on Youtube had made an instrumental...


So I started to practise it when i got home and the next day I pressed record.

And here we are..

When you listen to it you see I kept most of his style but i made minor changes in lyrics and the flow, and i really emphasized that pre-chorus because it was my favourite bit of the song.

I think I gave it a sweeter feel and injected more R&B melodies and harmonies. 
When listening to the original I couldn't believe how many harmony opportunities my bro missed - i tried to maximise them in my cover.

Overall i really enjoyed this and this song will no doubt go down as a classic, just simple and beautiful, which is as much a credit to the producer as it is to the artist.

So Runtown My Man well done, you're truly leading the pack right now.

But try not to sleep on your boy, end of 2017 I will also be a problem. 

Thanks for reading guys, you can listen to my version below..feel free to leave a comment - I luvz the feedbacks,


Thursday, December 29, 2016

Is this Me or My Ego?

All over social media and in personal experience I hear statements like “if they can’t handle me at my worst they don’t deserve me at my best” or “I’m done wasting energy on people who don’t give it back” which in essence echoes a sentiment that when people don’t act the way we want them to, we have justification to cut them out of our lives.

In reality this plays out constantly in social interaction, friends for years or family members have an argument, fall out and then don’t speak for years or perhaps they make up but the relationship is never the same.

In another scenario you have a misunderstanding with a stranger and come away from it consumed with rage at the stranger who you know nothing about because you feel they have wronged you in some way, whereas in reality both reactions were derived from a subjective perception of the situation.

Hello Ego.

What is Ego?

Daniel Boehm in his article Understanding Ego and How to overcome it states:

   “ Your sense of “I” or individuality is a result of your ego, so in that sense it’s necessary”.

Abby Wyne in her article “An argument in favour of Ego” states: 

The role of the ego is twofold—to protect us and to help us tell ourselves apart from other people”

Our ego is our conscious mind it allows us to understand who we are and what we stand for and how we operate in our subjective reality, this is my understanding of Ego.

Several constructs fall under our ego: Feelings of self esteem, self worth and self confidence all directly relate to it and create this aspect of ourselves called “the false ego”.

The reason it’s called a “false” ego because it is subjective. For example the ego sees the colour blue and mindfully accepts it for what it is – the color blue. The false ego sees the color blue and projects subjective thoughts and feelings unto it; “blue is my favourite colour” or “i hate the color blue because it reminds me of my ex” etc.

The false ego is created by society and your subjective experience within the society, it is a product of opinions and judgements you have held on to – some yours and some given to you by people you care about or have cared about, or maybe don’t even know that well .....but we’ve held on to these opinions and internalised them.

In short, your false ego is a narcissistic search for being accepted, validated and loved. - DB

The false ego is also a defense mechanism which we often create to protect ourselves from emotional pain or protect ourselves from the harsh realities of our own inadequacy and imperfections.

For example: a person who has low self esteem based on early childhood experiences might develop an opinion of themselves within their false ego that tells them that they are alone not because no one likes them but because no one deserves them.

We hold these beliefs and let them guide us through our interactions with others, and when things don’t go our way we seek out the thoughts that validate this world view and discard any others that contradict because we desperately need to believe that we are what we think we are otherwise the foundations of our world and belief system “come under threat”.

That is why in arguments we don’t listen to understand, we listen to respond. That’s why during break ups we seek to tarnish the image of the one our worlds used to revolve around. That’s why when you have an incident of road rage you don’t blame yourself for being impatient but you blame the other person for wasting your time. In conflicts of opinion when you think about it you don’t acknowledge the valid points the other person made but instead you replace that memory with how you felt about what they said and blame them for making you feel that way, not realising that they must feel the exact same way

False ego comforts you and makes excuses for you, it prevents you from accepting truth in favour of embracing pride, it tells you that if you admit to being wrong you give someone else power over you and we cant have that. It cleverly sifts through your subconscious and selects all the memories and thoughts which back up the opinion you have decided to hold and as such helps you carry on with your life with a false sense of peace. False because your peace does not come from doing the right thing, but from doing the thing that feels right regardless of the impact on others – selfish peace.

“If they cant handle me at my worst, they don’t deserve me at my best”.

But remember...

Negative states of mind, such as anger, resentment, fear, envy, and jealousy, are products of the ego.” – Eckhart Tolle

“The purpose of life is to experience and enjoy it as much as you can and to truly push the limits of your personal growth and who you can become.
The truth is that you don’t have to listen to the many thoughts you have about yourself – this is not who you really are

So whats the way forward?

We have to strip away all these layers we have created to protect ourselves from hurt because in reality all they do is steal our joy and warp our view of reality.

Ofcourse I realise this is not easy and will not happen overnight, but it will happen if you make a conscious effort in every moment, in every situation, in every relationship to be as kind to the other person as you are to yourself.

If you observe a toddler, they are brave they are loud they are authentically themselves, they don’t judge they just observe and accept the world for what it is.

We need to find a way to return to that. We need to find our “eyes filled with wonder” because the world is a beautiful place and social interaction can be a beautiful thing if we allow ourselves to get out of the way.

Happy Holidays and Thanks for Reading

Be blessed


Monday, May 31, 2010

C.B.D (Chronic Bitch Dependency)

What is Chronic Bitch Dependency?

C.B.D is a disease that attacks the self esteem and the testicles. It is a condition that is peculiar to the male specie. It usually happens when a weak man comes in contact with a female carrying the manipulative-dominating virus.


- When the word "bitch" is frequently used to describe u.
- When u find yourself avoiding your friends because you dont want to hear the truth.
- When everyone thinks you're a fool...eevn the one u're being a fool for.
- When she cheats on you and she blames you for it...and you apologise.
- When you're in the bathroom singing love songs as you wash the stains out of her thongs.
- Wn you're up all night wondering whats she's doing ..and shes out having fun with her friends


- An Unauthoritative dick
- Being a gentleman in the bedroom
- Inabillity to fuck her into submission
- Not enough prowess and skill
- Her demand exceeds your supply

It is often said that in relationships, the power resides with the one who cares the least. Well i agree, and would also like to add that power also resides with the one who is the most skilled and dominant in the bedroom.

If your wife or gf can withhold pussy and use it as a weapon to get back at you? you're not fucking her right.

If your babe is not sleepy and sluggish after yall fuck?'re not fucking her right.

If she reaches for her phone immediately after yall fuck...u better smack the phone out of her hands, spit on your dick and put it bak in until she starts harlem shaking and singing falsetto in acapella.


My Girl would find it very hard to cheat on me , cus my supply of dick would exceed her demand. I'd be long dicking, as and at when due, even when she dusnt ask for it, id suprise her with dick...cus thats my job; to love her and satisfy her desires.
She'd be in the kitchen bent over the sink, washing up or something....i'd come from behind, kiss her neck...pinch her nipples and slide into her
....but i digress....

This is a real problem but the cure is simple.


The victim usually deludes himself into thinking he's in control, but if he realizes his real situation, then he is half cured.
The next step is for him to ask someone to give him a swift kick to the nuts: this is like the electric shock the doctors apply when someone flatlines.
The effect of the kick is to jolt his nuts back into action.

After the administration of the kick, the patient should be on the way to recovery.

That is all for now on the topic of Chronic Bitch Dependency, feel free to leave comments and suggestions to help individuals currently suffering from or recovering from this condition.

*Note: CBR should not be confused with Love, Love by nature is Reciprocative and Unselfish....and if you're loving someone who treats you like shit?...then you need to look in the mirror and slap the first person you see. You're not doing any favours for your Self Esteem, Stop selling yourself short, there is someone out there who will appreciate you and treat you how you deserve to be treated.
Treat yourself better and people will follow suit.

Friday, February 5, 2010

You're not Alone

those beautiful brown eyes fill up
...and overflow..
Sobbing into ur pillow..
feeling like nobody knows..

They see u looking like a model everyday..
but they don't notice th red in ur eyes..
The man dem sae sweet things .but they don't really care about anything except gettin inbetween ur thighs...

Life hasn't been fair to you,every step is a struggle..
Barely managing to keep ur head above break in sight for ur hustle
Men have used u..robbed u of ur innocence..every story ends the same
U gave them ur body hopin to get love in return..but all u got was rejection n shame..

Everynight u feel like ending it friends..Everyday it gets worse..depression..despair..u just want it to end..
Familys gone...friends are fleeting..noone knows noone cares..
U feel like u have no reason to live..ure drowning in ur tears..

U pick up the pill bottle..Tears dripping down ur face..
hands ends today..
There's enough in there to stop ur heart..enough to make the pain go away..

He looks down on u ..tear filled eyes filled with love
..My Child..
I formed u with these hands..I breathed my very breath into u..
I watched helplessly as you made one wrong decision after the other..
My love has always been here, but u chose not to see..

As you bring the bottle to ur lips..u wonder if there's a God and if He thinks of u..
You wonder if He made u..if He cares about u...if all the bible stories are true

..My Child...I love u..

U wonder if He loves u..and where He is..Maybe He too doesn't care..
Anyway ure about to find out,u think to urself as the pills tumble into ur mouth


U freeze...did u imagine it?..but u heard a voice of that ure sure..
U feel a warmth spreading through your body..emanating from your very core..
U spit the pills out as ur mind works overtime..that sounded like ur dads voice?..but ur dads dead..??

As the warmth embraces u..u close ur eyes n feel a peace..peace flowin like a river..
these words echoing in ur head
......I Love You..

U don't know what just happened..but all of a sudden..u know everythings going to be okay..
Its been ages since u ever did this..u wonder if ull even remember how,but u get on ur knees and start to pray...

U can feel but ur eyes can't see...
ight there in ur little room..
fatherly arms hold u..the warmth that u feel..
Ur heavenly Father stroking ur hair and ministering peace into ur heart...

I love you My Child...and I have a wonderful plan for you

Ur eyes close in sleep..and u smile..u don't know why..but u just know everything will be okay..

Monday, January 25, 2010


Every human being is born with a desire to suceed, to "be somebody". In the heirarchy of Marslows needs at the very top is the need for self actualisation: a desire to maximise our potential and achieve.

As the line "I just wanna be..I just wanna be..Succesful" resonates in my head,I contemplate the meaning of the word "Sucess".
Sucess means different things to different people,Drake and Trey songz's understanding of sucess is having "the money,the cars,the h**s" (according to the song). Another persons idea of sucess is acquiring fame and recognition for their efforts. Sucess could mean bein able to spend your life in YOUR own way;doing what you want,when you want. In a parents mind it could mean raising good children, Others may equate it with love and acceptance and so on.

But regardless of individual differences, universally, sucess is equated with Wealth,Power,Fame and Respect. 9 times out of 10,when you hear a young man,such as myself talking about sucess its usually in these terms.I have a plan I have a dream which I see clearly in my minds eye. "In my minds eye" that phrase always fascinated me cus its only in the mind that we can visualise a dream and chart a path to a destination that is invisible to the naked eye.

We all have dreams, without a dream, life would just be pointless meandering.Life is hard,we came into this world with nothing,but we want to leave with everything. Sucess in a hustlers mind is like Heaven (atleast they're understanding of It).."..making it to the top,all the way to the top"..quoting a line from Drake's song. Its a dog eat dog world,and to many men the goal is to be the one that survives,that makes it to the top,the one that hangs on even when others let go.But the question is,at what cost? Sucess never comes without hardsip,without some kind of struggle. The truest ways to gain sucess is through education or just raw talent. Combining a good education with hard work or combining Talent with hard work and a drive to suceed will ensure that you reach the top of your chosen profession. But life isn't cut and dried, you plan but sometimes Life throws you curve balls. There's a proverb that says If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change and If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change,that's life you know?. Sucess is how high you bounce when you hit the bottom. Its not an easy road, sometimes people give up,and some lose their way,but the one that endures to the end gains the prize. True sucess is not the kind that comes immediately,its the one that lasts and culminates in a Legacy.

To win without some level of risk is like triumphing without glory.

We swim through a river of blood,sweat and tears trying to keep our heads above water, fighting the currents that threaten to drown us...trying not to be swept away,holding on to a dream,keeping our eye on the we struggle to get there. They say a man's dreams are an index to his greatness,we keep dreaming till we no longer NEED TO,and that right there is the point when you truly become,Succesful.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Glass Slipper

There is the greek folklore that says every Human was created with 4arms, 4legs,4ears, 4eyes,2noses etc. But Zues fearing their power split them into two and seperated them from their other halves by banishing one. So each human being spent their life searching and longing for their other half.This is a myth but the underlying concept seems true, that every human beings yearns for that "other half"; that person that can complete them.

Women are ready from the time they hit their teens and their bodies start indicating the need for a man, they know that that man must come in the form of a mate/boyfriend/spouse/husband/. They are ready mentally for that commitment. But men are a different case entirely, we mature slower mentally and we get the same indicators from our bodies,but we interprete it as the need for sex and later on companionship. A mate yes, a girlfriend maybe, if said girl "plays her cards right", but definitely not a spouse or wife, because at this stage we aren't "ready".
In most men, from teenage years to the twenties, this is a period of exploration, summarized by the line "so many little time", most men in this stage fear commitment more than,its that serious.But the time comes in a mans life when something changes mentally and he realizes he's ready.This realisation may be triggered by that fact that "all his friends are getting married"(peer pressure) or that "he's not getting any younger", or Love; as it dawns on him that he's found his other half and as most men will say "what am I looking for again".Which brings me to the topic of this piece, "the glass slipper".

Most of us are familiar with the tale of cinderella and how the prince searched the whole land till he found the princess whose foot fit into the glass slipper and thus he was reunited with his love.Every man has a glass slipper, this phrase "glass slipper" is a metaphor for the peculiar traits a man desires in a mate. These include physical attributes as well as mental,spiritual etc. It is the sum of everything a particular man looks for in a woman.There is a saying that states that a father is the daughters first husband and the son's first hero, so likewise the mother is the sons first wife. Initially men are attracted to women that remind them of their mom; consciously or sub-consciously. It may not be limited to physical qualities,it could be just one attribute that captivates them. So the first glass slipper is molded around their mothers foot, so to speak. But as they experience more and find out more about themselves and women in general, and with added input from their peers they begin to adjust and modify their mental glass slipper until they arrive at a stable model for their "dream girl".Allow me to digress a little, It is ironic that men who are usually impulsive and carefree in many other things are very logical and careful in choosing a spouse, while women who are usually logical and careful in normal duties are illogical and impulsive when it comes to selecting a man. A woman might know a man is a criminal but if he manages to get into her feelings she is willing to defend him and make excuses for him to whoever cares to listen. I guess that's why they say, God made woman beautiful so that Man might Love Her, and made Woman Foolish so that She might Love Him.Back to the issue at hand, most men have a mental collection of traits and attributes which they desire in a potential spouse (a glass slipper) that guides them even in selecting women to date, that's why you hear men saying stuff like "she's not my type" etc. Of all the attributes, even though it probably is the one that's mentioned first, physical attributes are the least important. Physical attributes may attract a man but it is the way the woman loves him and the way she relates to him, her personality and deeper things that make him stay. In all stories concerning the glass slipper, the view we see is just the outside. But every person who has owned a pair of shoes knows that how it fits inside is the most important.Every man wants a woman who treats him the way she wants to be treated,who doesn't ask but gives, who appreciates compliments but doesn't need them to make her feel good about herself, who has goals and let's her actions speak louder than her words, who sees him not as he is but as he could be and motivates him to be all he can be..and if he tries you on his heart and its a perfect fit? then happily ever after could be a page away.