Succesful

Every human being is born with a desire to suceed, to "be somebody". In the heirarchy of Marslows needs at the very top is the need for self actualisation: a desire to maximise our potential and achieve.

As the line "I just wanna be..I just wanna be..Succesful" resonates in my head,I contemplate the meaning of the word "Sucess".
Sucess means different things to different people,Drake and Trey songz's understanding of sucess is having "the money,the cars,the h**s" (according to the song). Another persons idea of sucess is acquiring fame and recognition for their efforts. Sucess could mean bein able to spend your life in YOUR own way;doing what you want,when you want. In a parents mind it could mean raising good children, Others may equate it with love and acceptance and so on.

But regardless of individual differences, universally, sucess is equated with Wealth,Power,Fame and Respect. 9 times out of 10,when you hear a young man,such as myself talking about sucess its usually in these terms.I have a plan I have a dream which I see clearly in my minds eye. "In my minds eye" that phrase always fascinated me cus its only in the mind that we can visualise a dream and chart a path to a destination that is invisible to the naked eye.

We all have dreams, without a dream, life would just be pointless meandering.Life is hard,we came into this world with nothing,but we want to leave with everything. Sucess in a hustlers mind is like Heaven (atleast they're understanding of It).."..making it to the top,all the way to the top"..quoting a line from Drake's song. Its a dog eat dog world,and to many men the goal is to be the one that survives,that makes it to the top,the one that hangs on even when others let go.But the question is,at what cost? Sucess never comes without hardsip,without some kind of struggle. The truest ways to gain sucess is through education or just raw talent. Combining a good education with hard work or combining Talent with hard work and a drive to suceed will ensure that you reach the top of your chosen profession. But life isn't cut and dried, you plan but sometimes Life throws you curve balls. There's a proverb that says If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change and If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change,that's life you know?. Sucess is how high you bounce when you hit the bottom. Its not an easy road, sometimes people give up,and some lose their way,but the one that endures to the end gains the prize. True sucess is not the kind that comes immediately,its the one that lasts and culminates in a Legacy.

To win without some level of risk is like triumphing without glory.

We swim through a river of blood,sweat and tears trying to keep our heads above water, fighting the currents that threaten to drown us...trying not to be swept away,holding on to a dream,keeping our eye on the shoreline..as we struggle to get there. They say a man's dreams are an index to his greatness,we keep dreaming till we no longer NEED TO,and that right there is the point when you truly become,Succesful.

The Glass Slipper

There is the greek folklore that says every Human was created with 4arms, 4legs,4ears, 4eyes,2noses etc. But Zues fearing their power split them into two and seperated them from their other halves by banishing one. So each human being spent their life searching and longing for their other half.This is a myth but the underlying concept seems true, that every human beings yearns for that "other half"; that person that can complete them.

Women are ready from the time they hit their teens and their bodies start indicating the need for a man, they know that that man must come in the form of a mate/boyfriend/spouse/husband/. They are ready mentally for that commitment. But men are a different case entirely, we mature slower mentally and we get the same indicators from our bodies,but we interprete it as the need for sex and later on companionship. A mate yes, a girlfriend maybe, if said girl "plays her cards right", but definitely not a spouse or wife, because at this stage we aren't "ready".
In most men, from teenage years to the twenties, this is a period of exploration, summarized by the line "so many girls..so little time", most men in this stage fear commitment more than AIDS..lol,its that serious.But the time comes in a mans life when something changes mentally and he realizes he's ready.This realisation may be triggered by that fact that "all his friends are getting married"(peer pressure) or that "he's not getting any younger", or Love; as it dawns on him that he's found his other half and as most men will say "what am I looking for again".Which brings me to the topic of this piece, "the glass slipper".

Most of us are familiar with the tale of cinderella and how the prince searched the whole land till he found the princess whose foot fit into the glass slipper and thus he was reunited with his love.Every man has a glass slipper, this phrase "glass slipper" is a metaphor for the peculiar traits a man desires in a mate. These include physical attributes as well as mental,spiritual etc. It is the sum of everything a particular man looks for in a woman.There is a saying that states that a father is the daughters first husband and the son's first hero, so likewise the mother is the sons first wife. Initially men are attracted to women that remind them of their mom; consciously or sub-consciously. It may not be limited to physical qualities,it could be just one attribute that captivates them. So the first glass slipper is molded around their mothers foot, so to speak. But as they experience more and find out more about themselves and women in general, and with added input from their peers they begin to adjust and modify their mental glass slipper until they arrive at a stable model for their "dream girl".Allow me to digress a little, It is ironic that men who are usually impulsive and carefree in many other things are very logical and careful in choosing a spouse, while women who are usually logical and careful in normal duties are illogical and impulsive when it comes to selecting a man. A woman might know a man is a criminal but if he manages to get into her feelings she is willing to defend him and make excuses for him to whoever cares to listen. I guess that's why they say, God made woman beautiful so that Man might Love Her, and made Woman Foolish so that She might Love Him.Back to the issue at hand, most men have a mental collection of traits and attributes which they desire in a potential spouse (a glass slipper) that guides them even in selecting women to date, that's why you hear men saying stuff like "she's not my type" etc. Of all the attributes, even though it probably is the one that's mentioned first, physical attributes are the least important. Physical attributes may attract a man but it is the way the woman loves him and the way she relates to him, her personality and deeper things that make him stay. In all stories concerning the glass slipper, the view we see is just the outside. But every person who has owned a pair of shoes knows that how it fits inside is the most important.Every man wants a woman who treats him the way she wants to be treated,who doesn't ask but gives, who appreciates compliments but doesn't need them to make her feel good about herself, who has goals and let's her actions speak louder than her words, who sees him not as he is but as he could be and motivates him to be all he can be..and if he tries you on his heart and its a perfect fit? then happily ever after could be a page away.

Respect and Submission

We live in an era where women are as sucessful as men,and are excelling in their chosen professions and gaining the respect of their peers. Todays woman is smart,confident,ambitious and extremely goal oriented and they have many sucessful role models to aspire to. Women like Hilary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey just to name a few have broken the glass ceiling and accomplished things hitherto seen as impossible for a woman, to the extent that a female president today would not come as a shock.

Now with the new status of the woman,in an era where women are doing so much you must wonder is it a win-win situation on all fronts or does something have to give? Does success of the career mean you have to sacrifice the happiness of your home? Some women have managed to achieve both, while others had to forego one for the other. This brings me to my next point, everyman wants his woman to "submit" to him and everywoman wants "respect" from her man, this is just the natural order of things,its even dictated in the bible. But todays woman takes offense to the word "submit" and what it connotes. If u take a general survey of the meaning of the word "submit" and what it has come to mean,you get phrases like "cooking and cleaning" "taking care of the home" "speaking little" "being a house wife" "supporting your husband". Now if you submit these to any man as the criteria for a wife,he will agree whole heartedly but women take offense to it and see such a description as degrading. So because of this meaning that has been given to the word submit, women no longer identify or agree with it, because they believe that they have accomplished too much to just be relegated to the role of "house wife".
They vehemently refuse to "submit" because they believe they have accomplished enough tobe esteemed by men as equals, after all, what we have done they have done too,and maybe even better, and therin lies the problem.

A man needs for his woman to submit to him,because most men have delicate egos and do not want to be challenged, they feel like "they compete with their peers allday and do not want to come back home and start competing with their wife". This has resulted in domestic abuse, infidelity, divorce, and general distortion of the ideal.

There has to be a compromise..a midpoint..

The word "submit" does not have to mean all those aforementioned things. A woman does not have to sacrifice her career,status or accomplishments just because she wants to be with a man. I believe when a woman meets a man worthy of her love she automatically wants to be there for him,cook for him,do things for him,cater to his every need, asking his opinion on decisions that are crucial to her and even ones that aren't; submitting to him without even thinking. Love means that she doesn't mind doing these things for him because she knows he loves her and respects and appreciates her for who she is and what she has accomplished. That is the natural order of things.

But the problem arises when women get involved with men for the wrong reasons, and they get hurt and then generalise this experience and carry the wounds from it to another relationship and then it goes on and on. Also men are not exonerrated of blame,infact we are much to blame for this perception. We are the reason women believe that if they submit to us we will take them for granted, because we have. Subconsciously we see ourselves as better than women and sometimes talk down to them and undermine their achievements as luck or insinuate they traded certain favours to achieve the sucess they have attained. Sometimes this is just out of plain jealousy,and in a relationship women can be very hurt by this because traditionally women are already looked at as the "weaker sex" when infact they are as strong as we are,if not stronger. So women have had a lot to prove and they have proved it,they have dealt with such chauvanism in their workplace and chosenprofessions and do not need to come home and be slapped in the face with your disrespect.So its a two way street,If more men respect their women and support them rather than feel threatened by their achievements they will respond Not by rubbing it in your face,but rather by melting in your arms.

So before we ask our women to submit,we need to remember our role and play it so as not to be deemed as hypocrites.

That is all. Goodnight.