Sunday, January 24, 2010

Respect and Submission

We live in an era where women are as sucessful as men,and are excelling in their chosen professions and gaining the respect of their peers. Todays woman is smart,confident,ambitious and extremely goal oriented and they have many sucessful role models to aspire to. Women like Hilary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey just to name a few have broken the glass ceiling and accomplished things hitherto seen as impossible for a woman, to the extent that a female president today would not come as a shock.

Now with the new status of the woman,in an era where women are doing so much you must wonder is it a win-win situation on all fronts or does something have to give? Does success of the career mean you have to sacrifice the happiness of your home? Some women have managed to achieve both, while others had to forego one for the other. This brings me to my next point, everyman wants his woman to "submit" to him and everywoman wants "respect" from her man, this is just the natural order of things,its even dictated in the bible. But todays woman takes offense to the word "submit" and what it connotes. If u take a general survey of the meaning of the word "submit" and what it has come to mean,you get phrases like "cooking and cleaning" "taking care of the home" "speaking little" "being a house wife" "supporting your husband". Now if you submit these to any man as the criteria for a wife,he will agree whole heartedly but women take offense to it and see such a description as degrading. So because of this meaning that has been given to the word submit, women no longer identify or agree with it, because they believe that they have accomplished too much to just be relegated to the role of "house wife".
They vehemently refuse to "submit" because they believe they have accomplished enough tobe esteemed by men as equals, after all, what we have done they have done too,and maybe even better, and therin lies the problem.

A man needs for his woman to submit to him,because most men have delicate egos and do not want to be challenged, they feel like "they compete with their peers allday and do not want to come back home and start competing with their wife". This has resulted in domestic abuse, infidelity, divorce, and general distortion of the ideal.

There has to be a compromise..a midpoint..

The word "submit" does not have to mean all those aforementioned things. A woman does not have to sacrifice her career,status or accomplishments just because she wants to be with a man. I believe when a woman meets a man worthy of her love she automatically wants to be there for him,cook for him,do things for him,cater to his every need, asking his opinion on decisions that are crucial to her and even ones that aren't; submitting to him without even thinking. Love means that she doesn't mind doing these things for him because she knows he loves her and respects and appreciates her for who she is and what she has accomplished. That is the natural order of things.

But the problem arises when women get involved with men for the wrong reasons, and they get hurt and then generalise this experience and carry the wounds from it to another relationship and then it goes on and on. Also men are not exonerrated of blame,infact we are much to blame for this perception. We are the reason women believe that if they submit to us we will take them for granted, because we have. Subconsciously we see ourselves as better than women and sometimes talk down to them and undermine their achievements as luck or insinuate they traded certain favours to achieve the sucess they have attained. Sometimes this is just out of plain jealousy,and in a relationship women can be very hurt by this because traditionally women are already looked at as the "weaker sex" when infact they are as strong as we are,if not stronger. So women have had a lot to prove and they have proved it,they have dealt with such chauvanism in their workplace and chosenprofessions and do not need to come home and be slapped in the face with your disrespect.So its a two way street,If more men respect their women and support them rather than feel threatened by their achievements they will respond Not by rubbing it in your face,but rather by melting in your arms.

So before we ask our women to submit,we need to remember our role and play it so as not to be deemed as hypocrites.

That is all. Goodnight.

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